My First Puzzles

January 5, 2012


So I take my six year old to see this movie about a paraplegic dolphin that gets a prostate from Samuel Jackson, when I get bored and decide to download the FAotD. It's My First Puzzles. Not really my thing, but I'm bored so I give it a try.

I'm putting together puzzles to pass the time and minding my own business, when some jerk a few rows behind me yells for me to turn off my phone. So, without looking I yell back, "Why don't you walk down here and make me?" Oops.

Turns out the guy was in a wheel chair and one of several chaperones for a group of amputated kids that had been brought out by our local chapter of the Easter Seals. And apparently my comment hit a nerve with that bunch.

They went nuts. Kids and adults both, yelling, throwing popcorn and skittles and fountain cups.

And then someone hit me with a foot. Then an arm. Then a leg. Then another leg. Then an ear.

And then someone hit my son with a fake breast.

It was a madhouse. I tried to defend us the best I could using a right leg I picked up, but it felt to be about a size eight so offered little real protection. In the end, it took the theater staff nearly an hour to restore order, collect all the limbs and return them to their rightful owners, and find that ear before escorting us to our vehicle.

And then I was informed I was banned from ever returning. Friggin apps.